Most of the people in the world know about the pomp and splendor of big fat Punjabi weddings in the Indian subcontinent. No doubt the wedding extravaganza of Punjabi marriages surpasses many. But, I personally feel, the pre and postnuptial ceremonies accompanying Bangladeshi marriages are among the most extensive and enjoyable I have ever been to. The traditional flavors are well earmarked in the celebration, food, décor, and fashion and the ambience is fun filled and full of cheers in any marriages in Bangladesh.
The ceremonies held before the wedding day mark the peculiar character of both Hindu and Muslim marriages in Bangladesh spread over several days. The following are some of the key functions that showcase the great heritage and social importance of marriage in Bangladesh.
Panchini or Engagement
Engagement is the prelude to Bangladeshi arranged marriages. It is the stepping stone to the wedding preparations and usually happens before a month of the marriage. It is divided into two parts. The first one is organized by parents of the bride. They hosted the members of the groom’s family and other guests for a sumptuous dinner. The parents of the groom present a ring, ornaments, and clothes to the bride. Next it was the turn of the groom’s family and the same function is repeated with different menus, entertainment, and fashion statement. The date of marriage and amount of Denmohar or money to be paid by the groom is announced.
Gaye Halud or Turmeric Ceremony
Organized three day prior to the day of wedding. This ceremony is common for both Muslim and Hindu marriages in Bangladesh. All family members, including the younger ones, take part in the functions separately held at the residences of the bride and the groom and apply turmeric on them. Cajoling, fun-filled ambience, dance, music, drama, and the food add to the enjoyment. Usually a portion of the Denmohar is presented during the function at the bride’s place.
Vridhi of Pre-Wedding Rituals
Usually a part of Hindu Bangladeshi marriages, pre-wedding rituals include a number of functions on the morning of the d-day. Prayers are offered to ancestors and an interesting ceremony called Dodhi Mangal is held at the dawn. The respective family members carry the bride and groom in separate processions to a nearby pond. A small ritual is held where Goddess Ganga is invited to the marriage. A pitcher of water is brought back for bathing rituals. Only after this ritual, the bride and the groom go for their makeup and clothing. A spectacular morning meal consisting traditional nonvegetarian and vegetarian food and curd is served to all guests. Sweet rice and lentil soup are two important specialties that I enjoyed.
Shah Nazar or Exchange of Eye Contacts
Though it is a part of the Bangladeshi marriage day, especially for Muslims, I would like to mention it as a different one for its importance and fun associated with it. It is conducted by the sisters and sister-in-laws of the bride. They play prank and ask the groom for money to show the face of the bride. All elders and younger ones take part in the cajoling and bargaining. I could not suppress my penchant to join the fun bargaining while attending several Bangladeshi marriages.
The variety of food served on these pre-wedding ceremonies is a big attraction for the guests. Guests have a diverse menu that combine the best of the local and foreign culinary. Korma Rezala or the spicy mutton curry, roasted fish and mutton dishes, fresh fish bhetki, lobster and king prawn, and Zorda or sweetened yogurt are the few items that make a food lover like me always eager to attend Bangladeshi marriages.
